Being a Mom Makes Me More Confident


We always talk about the stressors of being a mom; we have a lot to do and a lot to worry about. But, have you ever stopped to think about how being a mom also does something magical to your confidence? You know you can – and will – do anything for your child. It’s really kind of a superpower.

You know the story about the mom who miraculously lifts a car off of her baby – or whatever that little tale is … you get the picture. That’s because when a mom is doing something for their child, whether that’s saving his life or making his lunch, nothing can stop her.

memphis mom collective baby boy

Maybe “confidence” isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s just that motherhood makes us more assertive. Or determined. Or just flat-out fierce. All I know is that any shyness I have or reticence to do something goes out the window when it comes to my children’s needs. I no longer second-guess myself; I just do what needs to be done.

Here are a few examples:

  • Walking into their school and finding who I need – As I walked up to my sons’ new school the other day, I thought…well, this is something that might have caused me anxiety in the past. Am I going to the right door? Is this the best place to park? Do I need to sign in? I would be freaking out about following protocols. But now? My kids are going to school, and I need to get them happily inside. Protocols? I’ll just figure it out as I go.
  • Asking the doctor too many questions – When my babies were babies, someone made the comment that I would be “type-cast” as the needy, aggressive mother at my pediatrician’s office if I kept asking so many questions. To that, I say a big fat, “SO WHAT?” When it comes to my child not feeling well, I don’t care if all health care providers think I’m the biggest freak show on the planet … I just need some answers, y’all.
  • Making new friends for your kids – I’m sure something like this is even more notable for an introvert (people tell me I’m an extrovert), but I have noticed that it is so easy to make friends with other moms at school and activities since having kids. The reason is that there are no expectations around my own relationships with other moms – if we become friends, that’s a huge bonus! But the goal is to do everything I can to foster good relationships and a comfortable environment for my kids. So, as I mentioned before, I just feel more confident in this pursuit than I normally would (without kids in the picture). It just changes the game.

Anyway, you get the picture. The list of day-to-day examples runs long. Moms truly are superhuman because they rise above the need to care for themselves to put their children first, time and time again.

So, maybe it’s not confidence I’m feeling. Maybe it’s selflessness. Maybe it’s a reprioritization of all the silly things that used to matter as my children now stand tall at the center of my universe.

Whatever it is, I know I would do anything for my children – and I know you would too, mama. Because that’s what we do … and we don’t give a damn what anyone else has to say about it.

memphis mom collective baby girl

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Cara is a freelance journalist and strategic communications consultant living in Germantown. Born in Illinois, she moved to Memphis at a young age; and, having moved away a few times for college, graduate school, and other adventures, she likes to joke that she’s moved TO Memphis more times than anyone she knows. Mom to the cutest little boys, Everett (March 2017) and Gavin (October 2018), and wife to Rob, who works as a financial planner, Cara is adjusting to her new gig as a stay-at-home mom after almost 20 years as a magazine editor and corporate communications practitioner. When not “momming” or consulting, Cara spends her time volunteering with the Junior League of Memphis, where she served on the Board of Directors for several years. Admittedly, Cara has an unreal obsession with escape rooms, an unhealthy addiction to Frappuccinos, and an uncontrollable desire to correct every grammar and punctuation mistake she sees. Learn more about Cara at


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