Motherhood Has Granted Me Grace That I Now Pass On To You

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Memphis Moms Blog mom daughter

Motherhood has changed me.

I challenge you to show me a mother who wouldn’t readily agree with that statement. Some days, it feels like all of my cells have been rearranged…it’s like my molecular makeup got a little jiggy-jog when I birthed my two babies. I feel different. Simple as that. I’ve only been a mother a little more than two years, and it already has changed me in so many ways.

It has made me more appreciative. Nothing can make you appreciate a normal day like being a mom. I appreciate when things are ordinary and boring. And I also recognize and appreciate all the blessings coming my way. Once I had children, I began to see more beauty in all things—sunny days are brighter, holidays are merrier, and hugs are warmer.

It has given me humility. Motherhood has taken away (most of) my vanity. I never minded being the center of attention before; but now there are two little tots way more deserving of that role. And being in the mommy trenches is sure to shake everyone’s confidence now and again. Learning what works for your children, ignoring and following advice, making mistakes…all these things help keep a momma humble.

It has made me less envious. I guess this is a combination of becoming both more appreciative and more humble, but your wants, needs and priorities definitely change when you become a mom. You know those people who say, “All I need is my health, that of my family, and a modest place for us to live out our lives.” I never felt like that until I became a parent. I don’t need to keep up with the Joneses; I just need to keep up with my two toddlers.

It has made me more patient. Dressing a toddler…need I say more? But seriously, when you practice patience with little ones in nearly every daily task, it lessens the blow of the things that used to drive me batty. Although, traffic still gets to me. I am human, y’all.

It has made me less critical of others. I honestly don’t think I was that critical to begin with, but having children has swiftly and forcefully withdrawn my nose from other people’s business. I am not critical of you and the decisions you make because I’m not thinking about you and the decisions you make. I’m thinking about those two little dudes at home who are depending on me and counting on me to give them a good life. Motherhood is often all consuming.

It has made me more spiritual. Getting through some of the hardest days of motherhood is proof enough for me that there is a higher power. I’ve connected with so many fellow mommas who have become mentors to me on my faith journey.

It has rearranged my priorities. I’m a perfect attendance kind of girl, but kids quickly change that. They always come first, and that means that everything else on your list shifts downward. Sure, it’s sweet and all, but re-prioritization can really get to you. You notice it a lot when you haven’t washed your hair in four days, you haven’t peed in eight hours, and it usually takes you all night to finish your cold, nasty dinner due to interruptions. But are they healthy? Happy? Asleep? Good. That’s all that matters.

Memphis Moms Blog mom hug son

It has made me more thankful. I’m thankful for my children and for everything they bring with them. I’m thankful for the unexpected turn my career took when I decided to stay at home. I’m thankful for the crazy parenthood journey that my husband and I are now tackling together. I’m thankful for all of the friends and family that provide us support and help along the way. And, most of all, I’m thankful to even have the chance to become a mom and sit and ponder thoughts like these.

It has given me grace. Motherhood has taught me so many lessons while touching every corner of my soul, and that, my friends, is definitely a journey where you need to be granted a lot of grace. So many ups, so many downs, so many missteps and so many beautiful moments…and a lot of grace shown to me by others as I figure this whole thing out.   

Because of all these changes within myself—all of these gifts that motherhood has given me—I know I am a different person toward others. I believe I have become a more forgiving, understanding and loving human being. This goes for everyone I encounter, but especially for other mothers. I see you, friend. Now, I really see you. And I respect the hell out of you. You’ll never get any side-eye from me. I’ll be around if you need me…ready to grant you the grace that many great mommas have already granted me.  

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Cara is a freelance journalist and strategic communications consultant living in Germantown. Born in Illinois, she moved to Memphis at a young age; and, having moved away a few times for college, graduate school, and other adventures, she likes to joke that she’s moved TO Memphis more times than anyone she knows. Mom to the cutest little boys, Everett (March 2017) and Gavin (October 2018), and wife to Rob, who works as a financial planner, Cara is adjusting to her new gig as a stay-at-home mom after almost 20 years as a magazine editor and corporate communications practitioner. When not “momming” or consulting, Cara spends her time volunteering with the Junior League of Memphis, where she served on the Board of Directors for several years. Admittedly, Cara has an unreal obsession with escape rooms, an unhealthy addiction to Frappuccinos, and an uncontrollable desire to correct every grammar and punctuation mistake she sees. Learn more about Cara at https://carasievers.weebly.com/.