Remember to Breathe

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I laid in the bed the other night with tears rolling down my face, trying not to make a sound so as to not wake my babies sleeping next to me. I had recently visited my doctor to discuss my struggle with feeling like there was always something wrong or would go detrimentally wrong. The feeling of inadequacy had long ago crept into my mind, decided it liked the setup, and made itself at home. The relentless battle with sadness and anxiety left me beat up and bruised. Low confidence lingered in the shadows, waiting to soften the blow before depression jumped in to save the day. My mind relentlessly pondered the key to life: where I was currently, where I wanted to be, and what it would take to get there.

Breathe.

woman with depression crying breathe

Is there a hormone imbalance, a genetic error, or does trauma cause a mental switch to be turned on that can be dimmed or turned off? Has the world created a society that makes it hard to let go and live in our truth, or even survive at the basic level of capability? Is medication the solution, or is it better to talk with a trusted individual who isn’t necessarily trusted, but trained in the masters of the brain (but what of the heart?). Is religion the answer and God will graciously give me peace if only I dare to ask? Are strings attached? Am I spiritually blind and the answers lie within the energy released through the middle of my forehead or the chakras lining my spine?

Breathe.

I couldn’t come up with answers that didn’t lead to more questions, didn’t feel like heartache, or didn’t satisfy the burning desire for a groundbreaking solution.

Breathe.

Although every situation is different, I know that it can be so draining to deal with the underlying cause of the pain that conflicts with the desire to break free. It can be so heartbreaking to wake up everyday fighting for control to just let go.

Breathe.

The hopeful space is that there are different options for help and healing. Although it may take some time and trials to determine what works, I am learning that it’s ok to ask for help in whatever area you feel like you are struggling with.

Breathe.

The attempt to find a solution is not always the easiest. For individuals without the mental capacity, love, and support, this thing called life within motherhood can be tough. Even more so in underserved communities which lack the appropriate resources.
I am sending love to the mothers who are in that struggle or who are needing help, healing, and answers. Remember to Breathe.  I hope that you find the solution that works out best for you and your family.
Shout out to the social workers, counselors, therapists, psychiatrists, health professionals, and doctors doing the work.

To both groups: You are so important. Your work is essential and indispensable.

We are compiling a basic resource for mental health and emotional well being for mothers in underserved communities in Memphis. Please send your suggestions for professionals, therapists, instructors, and services related to the health and well-being of mothers to [email protected]

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