I was talking to a friend last week and something she said to me was so relatable, I can’t stop thinking about it. We were talking about goals and she said she could set and meet just about any goal professionally- but when it came to her personal life, it annoyed her how she never actually followed through.
Can I get an Amen?
I feel like a lot of people I know, 2019 me included, don’t place nearly enough of an emphasis on personal growth as we should. While 2020 was a terrible year for many reasons, it also showed me what’s truly important in life, and was by far one of my most developmental years as a mother, woman, person, daughter, you name it.
I truly had time to focus on what made me…well me, and what I wanted to grow into or out of.
Now, I HAVE to have personal goals. It bothers me to think that before last year I was at the bottom of my own priority list. Not having self-growth and development is detrimental to our mental health. I feel like a completely different person now that I am making a conscious effort to work on myself so that I can be the best person (physically and emotionally) I can not just for me, but for my family, my work, and my community.
There are two things that have kept me accountable and going strong on this journey:
God Bless her. She is unbiased, honest, and makes me think outside the box. She gives me the perfect mix of validation and pushback. It’s nice to talk to someone who is unbiased, an outsider that sees things from a much clearer point of view. My therapist has made me think of things differently and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to communicating/honoring my own needs and feelings, encouraged me to accept all parts of me, and use them to my advantage. She sees the progress I have made, and she shows it to me too. I can feel my brain working differently and instead of having the same reactions out of muscle memory, it’s almost like it goes through a checklist that keeps me accountable and level headed. It feels good to see that kind of change – it’s like my brain and emotions have learned how to react to situations instead of being victims to them.
My Goal Sheets
I am an absolute sucker for any stationary. I’ve looked for goal books and cute planners all my life but these simple sheets of paper are all I really need. I have my 2020 Reflections, 2021 Goals, and 2021 Monthly Goal sheets all hanging in my closet mirror where I put my makeup on every morning. This location is intentional, as it forces me to look at my goals daily and consequently game plan for how I am going to meet them. There truly has not been a day that I have not looked at, or at least thought about, these goals. This has been a game changer for me and has kept me more accountable than anything else I have ever tried before. I’ve learned to also have some grace. There are, in fact, two goals that I did not meet in January- one of them being cleaning my massive bathtub (I mean, can you judge me, who wants to do that?). But I am not penalizing myself nor am I disappointed. I am simply adding it to my February goal list. Not because I am a fan of rolling problems over, but simply because life happens and if I don’t show myself kindness, who will? That tub can go a few more days, and this will not derail me.
So I ask you, fellow mom/daughter/sister/wife…. woman. What have YOU done to grow? What checkpoints of accountability do you have in place for yourself and your own personal growth and development as a human? I’ll leave you with one of my absolute favorite quotes:
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
– Albert Einstein