My Kids Have a Favorite Parent

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You can eat organic foods during pregnancy, buy special earphones so the baby can listen to classical music in the womb, have a 2 day natural labor and unmedicated delivery, even have a lotus birth (you’ll probably have to google that one), and chances are that sweet baby that made you puke every day during pregnancy will have the nerve to prefer the other parent.

For my oldest son, daddy is his favorite. It’s always been pretty obvious (and annoying). Thankfully, now that he’s 10, there are things that he would rather do with me– go to museums, question me about his latest medical ailment (he’s a bit of a hypochondriac), or just sit and talk about the latest 5th grade gossip. But there was definitely a time when he would reach for his dad and my heart would break a little. When we found out we were expecting twins, I was ecstatic because I figured at least one of them would like me better.

Memphis Moms Blog favorite parent

And boy twin it was! He has never been good at hiding the fact that he “loves me more.” He has no regard for social acceptance on the subject and happily announces to anyone that will listen that he is going to marry his mom. When his teacher asked what he wanted to do when he grew up he said, “Live at home with my mom.” Considering that he still doesn’t know how to fully dress himself at age 6, I fear this dream may one day become a reality. One night last summer, he and his dad were sitting outside swinging and talking. They were having some good guy time when my son looked at him and said, “This is so fun! The only thing that would make this better is if you were Momma!”

Girl twin and I had a similar moment recently when we were snuggling on the couch reading a book. She was staring up at me while I read, and I thought she was just taking in this beautiful moment until she blurted out, “Momma, are you trying to grow a mustache?” When I laughed and told her no, she said, “Oh okay, so just the beard then?” She also makes no secret of the fact that her daddy is her favorite, if for no other reason than to take any opportunity to crush my spirit a little whenever possible. When her teacher asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said that she wanted to work with her dad. I have tried convincing her to be a nurse like me but she just tells me she doesn’t want to be like me and that her brother will have to be the “Murse.”

When we had our fourth and last baby, I was finally able to level the playing field. From day one, the baby preferred me to the point where he didn’t want anyone else to touch him. It was equally exhausting and satisfying. When he was 21 months old, I finally weaned him around the time my husband happened to get a new truck. All of a sudden it was “dada” this and “dada” that. He wanted dada to take him for rides in his truck all day. He even let my husband rock him to sleep a few times. I. Was. Devastated. But aside from re-lactating, there wasn’t much else I could do!

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, if your child has a favorite parent, give it time. Chances are, as they grow up, they will discover new things that they enjoy doing with you more than anyone else. Or, when in doubt, just add another baby or two to the mix to increase your odds!