Dearest Cocomelon (formerly ABCtv),
Thank you from the bottom of my oh.so.tired. heart. Where do I begin?
Sometime in the blur of the last two years of my first daughter’s life, my husband went to YouTube in search of something not terrible to show her on tv. He stumbled upon one of your 34-to-37-minute masterpieces, and we have been devoted fans ever since. “Coco,” as my daughter calls you, pointing to the screen with a pleading look on her face, is our go-to day or night. You have an ability to hold her attention like no other show can — we call it the “Cocomelon coma” — which, as every time- and sleep-deprived mom knows, is pure gold.
I know, I know. I should limit her screentime until at least the age of two. I know this. But, with all that’s going on right now, it almost feels inevitable. And please, show me a parent who has not shown their child a screen, and I will sign up for their “how to be a better parent” daily e-newsletter.
Most shows make me feel guilty for disobeying one of the cardinal rules of parenting, but not you. You, with your perfect mix of classic nursery rhymes and catchy new tunes that teach life lessons and invite my child to dance; you make me feel less #momguilt. For that, I would pay money, but, as icing on the cake, you are FREE! Which, as every cash-strapped mom knows, is also pure gold.
I just learned a few weeks ago that you are now on Spotify. In 2019, we searched and searched for ways to listen to you while in the car or the kitchen and away from our screens, only to be met with sadness. Finally, in a 2020 miracle, you have released two albums to entertain my girl while strapped into one of her seats and otherwise only half-way occupied.
You are the full package, even including plans to sell merchandise soon. If there is a toddler mom out there who has not yet met you, I will encourage her to check you out without missing a beat. Now, when can I count on your full-length feature film coming out?
Thank you, from one of your most devoted 73.7 million+ fans.
With gratitude and devotion,