I’ve Ruined my Kids’ Childhood. Santa Doesn’t Visit Here.


Santa isn’t invited to my house. Santa doesn’t know when my kids are sleeping or when they are awake. He doesn’t know if they have been bad or good, so no pressure there. There are no magical elves creatively positioned on shelves to report back to Ole St. Nick. There are no visible signs of a jolly fat man in red in or around my house. The kids don’t need to make lists of wants and mail them to nowhere. Santa Claus, keep your sleigh and reindeer off my roof please! I don’t have a chimney anyway.

Memphis Moms Blog Santa

No, Santa we’re good. Keep going on your merry way!

Overkill maybe, but it’s true. I don’t want my kids thinking they can make a list and mail it to the North Pole, or that there is one man just waiting to make all their Christmas dreams come true. Mommy don’t have it like that. Because at the end of the day, I am the one responsible for making all that Christmas magic happen. And for us Christmas, isn’t about Santa and what he can bring them. It is so much more.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the Christmas season. I love the decorations. I love the time we spend watching Christmas classics, even the ones that include Santa. I bake cookies and brownies and let the smell of those delectable morsels take over the house. I love seeing the kids try to guess what is wrapped under the tree for them. We get to do special holiday crafts on the weekends. Christmas includes everything.

Except a fat man dressed in red that breaks in our house one night a year and leave gifts and eats those cookies I just baked.

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There is just something about the snow, the lights and the Christmas spirit!

I work hard to provide for my girls. I want them to know that working hard is what affords you some of the things you want. I wish I could send their Christmas list to a bearded man, so he could give them everything they want and more. But that just isn’t reality. And reality doesn’t have to be less magical. Christmas for us is a time of giving. This is when we make more of an effort to think about someone else and make them smile. This is when we show more love. This time of year is when we are more thoughtful. This isn’t about you and what you want. What can you do for someone else?

Love is all the magic we need during the holiday season.

I don’t want to guilt my children into being well behaved the last couple months of the year. “Oh, you better be good because Santa is watching. You better make sure you don’t make the naughty list, or Santa will not bring you toys!” I want my girls to know that you try your best to be your best. All the time. And if you mess up, that’s okay, just make sure you own up to your mistakes and try to learn from them.

I want them focused on spreading love and joy, making someone smile by sharing a hug or a kind word. I want them to go out of their way to give someone else a reason to feel special. That is Christmas to me, and that is what I want to teach my kids. It’s not about what you get; it’s about what you give! I don’t have a problem with people celebrating Santa, and my girls know not to ruin it for those that believe. 

Did I rob my children of their innocence? Guess it all depends on your perspective. Santa is right there with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny…just pretend characters. They don’t make or break any holiday for us. We have our Christmas traditions: we drive around different neighborhoods enjoying all the lights, we try to attend a parade or two, we all get together on Christmas Eve and play games. My girls love the Christmas season. They are excited every Christmas morning. We just love it without Santa being the reason for the season.



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Angela has Memphis running through her veins. Born and raised here, she loves traveling but Memphis is always home. There is no other city like it. Angela is the mom of three amazingly unique girls: Jordan (June 2003), Carmen (January 2009), and Norah (June 2014). Jordan has Autism and is a talented artist; Carmen is the entertainer that loves dancing and competitive cheering (yes, she is a cheer mom!), and Norah has Down Syndrome and is full of sass. Besides being a full-time mom and a full-time employee, she is also a full-time advocate for her girls with special needs. She enjoys spending time with her family creating memories, vacationing whenever the opportunity arises, and dancing in the kitchen while cooking. Her mottos for life are: with God all things are possible, every day is a new day to be grateful, and live to love and love to smile.


  1. I applaud you decision, why because I made the same one. Making the decision to inform my children that there is no Santa didn’t hurt them it actually made them modest in their asking. They went from asking for the world, because Santa has it like that, to asking for legos and board games we can share. There is nothing wrong with having an imagination but we live in the real world where you can not get everything just because you ask or write a letter. Children should not just behave to get things but because it’s the right way to behave. My two stopped believing in Santa years ago, but I do still require lists that may or may not be completely fulfilled, because my mind is short. There is nothing wrong with being honest with your children and telling them about mommy making it happen.

  2. Well said! I totally agree with you. I told both of my children in elementary school that Santa wasn’t real. I didn’t want them giving him credit for the gifts they received. God blessed us with the money to buy those gifts. I wanted them to be thankful to God for His blessings and His gift to the world. My children were taught early on the Christ is why we celebrated Christmas and Santa is a fictitious character.

  3. Oh good grief. They have their entire lives to live in the “real world” and all that entails. There is nothing wrong with letting them have a little magic when they are little. My goodness.

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