Single For Now

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At the age of 32 my mother became a widow. She also became a single parent to a 10-year-old daddy’s girl. From that moment on, she put all of her energy into being a parent. I was her main focus. We had a wonderful relationship. I talked to my mom about everything.

When I started dating I realized that my mom had not dated, as far as I knew, since my father’s death. I asked her about it and she said that she didn’t want to bring another man into our house. I accepted her explanation and dropped the subject. As I was preparing to leave for college, I thought that now might be a good time to bring up her dating again. Since I was leaving home I didn’t want her to be alone. My grandmother was living with us, but that is totally different than having male companionship. My mother told me that at this point she didn’t want to date again. I truly never understood her feelings or thought process until I became my mother.

After my divorce, I dated and even got engaged, but in the end, I couldn’t reconcile having another man raising my sons. Yes, my sons needed a male influence but things just didn’t work out. My sons didn’t mind me dating, but they were totally against me getting married again. So I did the same thing that my mother did: I put my “love life” on hold. Where I am different from my mother is that as my youngest prepares for college next year, I will start preparing myself to date again. As my sons begin to grow into the independent men that I pray that they will be, I will start to wander back into the dating pool.

I do want someone to be concerned about me, to call to check on me, to make sure that I get home safe, to help take care of me when I’m sick. Someone to share life with. I want my sons to be happy, but momma needs to be happy too. I’m in a good place mentally. My time will come and so will Mr. Right.

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This mother of two teenage boys, Robert born August 1999 and Matthew May 2001, is loving life. Being a divorced mom is not easy but together with her family, Belinda makes it work. Born in the Windy City of Chicago, she moved to Memphis at a young age. Belinda is happy to raise her sons in the Hickory Hill area. She loves the big city life with the small town feel. When she's not playing chauffeur for her sons, you will find Belinda at a thrift store or watching her beloved Pittsburgh Steelers during football season. By day she is the Director of Community Outreach for a local non-profit that helps empower women to plan their futures. Belinda's purpose in life is helping others be successful, not just in her own community but the world’s community.